How We Snack In Relationships
On Sunday I kicked off a 4 part series on how our society has become addicted to different kinds of snacking and looked at how we snack on information. Wednesday I shared my thoughts on how snacking on food can be bad.
Today I’ll be sharing some thoughts about how we snack when interacting with others.
We Snack In Relationships
How we do this
Instead of spending quality time with family and friends, interactions are often becoming bite-sized. We fit in our interactions with others around everything else going on in our busy lives. The amount of time we spend with people may be less and when we do spend time, we are often multitasking.
Examples of how we snack with relationships
When I was growing up, it was rare that my family didn’t sit down to dinner together. If more than two of us were home around any meal time, we would eat together. I used to spend a couple of hours a day – minimum with one or both of my parents.
I conducted an informal survey amongst some friends regarding mealtimes. With the exception of two who have young children, all of my friends said meals were typically eaten on the run – including dinner. All members of a household would eat maybe one meal a week together.
I rarely talk on the phone with friends and family these days. Most exchanges are done via brief email, Facebook messages, instant messenger, etc. Most phone calls are short in duration and often only regarding arrangements to meet in person. (By contrast, friends I have made on the Internet, I do talk with by phone/Skype more frequently it seems.)
Why do we snack with relationships
The pace of life for most of us has just gotten busier. Trying to coordinate a phone call even can be difficult never mind sitting down to a meal with family.
But even when we are with those we care about in person, it’s not uncommon they don’t get our full attention. We’ve become avid multitaskers. Do you tweet when with others? Take phone calls? Check your email or text messages? All of these serve as distractions. I think there is also an almost compulsive aspect to this.
When snacking with relationships becomes a problem
This post is a pretty sensitive one for me. I know that I’ve had many relationships diminish in quality over the years because I don’t dedicate the time to them. I also know that I’ve felt offended when people I am with or talking to multitask. I’ve also seen marriages of friends dissolve due to lack of quality time. I’ve seen the children of people I care about have behavioral issues due to lack of parental attention.
What should we be doing?
I think it wouldn’t hurt many of us to take some time to evaluate our relationships – especially those that matter the most – and consider if we are snacking when it comes to our interactions and if so, what we can do to change things if needed.
Moving away from snacking doesn’t necessarily have to mean more time, but it’s about making sure quality is there too.
What do you think? Do you believe snacking in our interactions is a problem?
